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Someone told me to bring it here, even though this community is dead.… - Childfree Bulls*** [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Childfree Bulls***

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[Apr. 2nd, 2008|10:03 pm]
Childfree Bulls***


Someone told me to bring it here, even though this community is dead. I rarely post, so I decided to whore myself around.

You sexy bitches you.

The Set-up: The other day I was riding the bus home from work. I have a condition that causes vertigo and I have to be very careful about where I sit or else I get dizzy, queasy, and possibly throw up. I'm new to Seattle, and also this whole bus thing, so I'm still working out the kinks. A mother and her pre-teen son got on and asked if they could sit where I was sitting. I told her about my condition and they decided to sit towards the back, in the seats that were along the side.


Okay, so I have this totally SERIOUS CONDITION right? Like, it's awful and I'm never having kids because of it. Like, what if I'm holding the baby and I fall over, or it wants to ride a roller-coaster and I can't? I'd totally be an unfit parent because of it.

Anyway, so I'm on my way home from work and at the Space Needle stop this stupid fat moo with her stupid fat over-grown crotchfruit get on. And they're being all loud and shit, like I want to listen to their mindless prattle. They were so fat I bet they were talking about food anyway.

So the dumb bitch moo comes up to me, obviously a worthless tourist, comes up to me and demands that I give up my seat. "LOOK AT MAH HANDSOME SUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S TOO PRECIWOUS TO STAND ON THE BUS!!!!!!!!"

"Look bitch" I say, rising up to my thin, lithe, gorgeous height of seven feet tall, "fattums could use the exercise. Also, I have a condition that will cause me to vomit all over your precious chyuld if I am forced to move from this, the only spot on the bus."

Then, as the bus magically arrived at my stop, she threw a punch at me. I shoved her backwards and she exploded under the pressure of her own fat. As I pranced off the bus into the arms of my hunk of a boyfriend I saw her fat little orphan bastard crying while strangers lectured him about proper nutrition.

Then I had lots of kinky sex. Parents don't have sex.

The End.

[User Picture]From: greytweed
2008-04-03 05:12 am (UTC)
*dies laughing*
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[User Picture]From: bsdetector93
2008-04-03 05:22 am (UTC)
I give this a big thumbs up, with an extra helping of whoop-ass.
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[User Picture]From: glossolalia
2008-04-03 05:23 am (UTC)
Yay! I'm so glad you posted this!

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[User Picture]From: cicipsychobunny
2008-04-03 10:01 am (UTC)
"PRECIWOUS" is just the best word ever. And "exploded under the pressure of her own fat" is PRICELESS.
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[User Picture]From: frawggy
2008-04-03 04:17 pm (UTC)

Cause all stupid moos are fatties with awful stretch marks. Only my stretch marks are sexy because they come from over-eating delicious gourmet foods that I make my sexy boyfriend every night. Not baby-making.
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